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  <title>Jaynatopia</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/</link>
  <description>Jaynatopia - LiveJournal.com</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:48:22 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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  <lj:journal>jayhawke</lj:journal>
  <lj:journalid>9659959</lj:journalid>
  <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27791.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:48:22 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>MOVING</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27791.html</link>
  <description>I am moving.... to a new livejournal name.&lt;br /&gt;I am now Jaynatopia, which matches my website etc.&lt;br /&gt;It will pretty much be exclusively my personal journal and I will also&lt;br /&gt;do most of my amateurish writing on trans-issues there.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27791.html</comments>
  <category>moving</category>
  <category>livejournal</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:mood>sick</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27454.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:11:04 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Avaldar Part 3   &quot;The Tower Crypt&quot;</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27454.html</link>
  <description>The man’s eyes started open only to find darkness and… stale air. Why is it dark? Where was he? He wondered to himself. Feeling to his left and right with his hands he felt cold hard stone. Lifting his knee up it too hit up against stone. “A sarcophagus?” he whispered to himself.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A slow, painful realization sunk in to his foggy mind. “I’m dead?” he wondered aloud. He remembered the event…vaguely. Deep in the amber mines fighting… yes, a demon. Septicles was it’s name. The last thing his addled memory could remember was a brilliant flash and dodging a hurled fireball. The pain he did remember as it exploded on the wall behind him, hurling him forward like a rag doll. Lying on the wet, muddy ground, he remembered screams and the sounds of battle. A woman’s voice said his name, probably asking him if he was alright. He wasn’t, and it was the last he heard.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The chalice? Did Sister Zaneta use the chalice on him against his command? He wasn’t sure. He only knew that for some reason he was alive, certainly, for he was breathing. Struggling and groaning, he threw his effort into budging the stone lid, it scraped to the side ever so slightly. Again and again he threw himself into it making a little progress at a time. Finally cold air, fresh and clean, could be felt and his hand could touch the outside. It took him a half an hour but finally he budged it to the side and squeezed through the narrow opening he made for himself and, with better leverage, pushed the stone lid to the side as he heard footsteps and saw light coming down the stairs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He saw perhaps the oldest half orc he ever saw coming down the stairs. With one hand he held a lantern and with the other he held the ear of a young common lad who protested with whimpers of pain. Preceding him was an even younger boy who suffered an occasional boot to the butt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Steadying himself as best he could, weakened and fatigued from his recent resurrection, he stood his ground. He knew he could take on an old geezer and two boys so there was no use skulking in the shadows. The old half-orc stood at the base of the stairs, his jaw agape. He stammered, “Art…. Art… Art….,” before clutching his chest and falling backwards.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Artorius! Yes, that was his name. He could remember now. He rushed over to the old man and lifted his head. “Who are you old man? How do you know me?” he asked concerned. The old man looked at him, pained, still clutching his chest, “Artorius, you am live? Or me am passed into Heaven?” he asked simply.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Artorius nodded, “I live. But again old man… Who are you?” The old man looked at him and simply said, “Cashel,” as his spirit slid away from the world of the living. Artorius gently laid the head down of his old, old friend. Tears streaming down his face as he realized the two boys were also bawling. He felt saddened, bewildered, and lost as his most likely link remaining to this world lay dead before him.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27454.html</comments>
  <category>avaldar</category>
  <category>writing</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <lj:music>none</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">none</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27294.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 19 Oct 2007 17:06:52 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>hurray for weekends</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27294.html</link>
  <description>Okay well weekends aren&apos;t usually too big of a deal except they help me get more work done for the thesis. That is a good thing, otherwise I would be buried. Even so this weekend I am spending some time to go to the support group thing. The only reason I am really going is because of a girl we met via PFLAG that has yet to start HRT. We promised we would go to her town, pick her up, and take her and introduce her to the support group and transgender community. Speaking of community, Mila heard from another girl that I suppose we met once at SGA. Apparently she never went back because of an issue with another person there. I have a feeling that someone was rude to her and I think I know a likely culprit. This makes me wonder if the community would be better off ostracizing a few &apos;trouble makers&apos;. I don&apos;t make such a suggestion lightly but I know there are a few that put off new members and stymie the growth of our groups.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My friend Scott is coming in from Phoenix on Monday. I am taking the week off to spend with him. I am very very excited, this is my first friend visit to my new home!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh and my son got student of the week for his entire school. He was surprised to see us there and I think once he saw the camera he was smart enough to know something was up. I am sooooo proud!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also: Trans-Ponder episode 14 is up at www.trans-ponder.com</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27294.html</comments>
  <category>scott</category>
  <category>pflag</category>
  <category>sga</category>
  <category>mila</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>trans-ponder podcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">trans-ponder podcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>excited</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27104.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:58:06 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>mila sick</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27104.html</link>
  <description>Mila is sick and stayed home today. The ride on the way to work is not as engaging without her chatting. It is a cold and rainy day overall and it just makes it seem all the more lonely. If she is feeling well we may once again venture into the social world this weekend. There is a girl in Yuba City area that we promised that we would give a ride to the support group. I am really finding myself not feeling so into the support group setting at the moment. I think the negativity of people in the last meeting really left a bad taste in my mouth. Still plugging away at my thesis work. This is week 3 of 11 of this quarter. Only 8 more weeks of this grueling schedule but fortunately it is going fairly quickly.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/27104.html</comments>
  <category>rain</category>
  <category>sick</category>
  <category>thesis</category>
  <category>mila</category>
  <lj:music>Talking Tranny podcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Talking Tranny podcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26877.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:31:57 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>My lazy day</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26877.html</link>
  <description>Today is my lazy, lazy day I suppose. It doesn&apos;t mean I am not working. I am working, just not as hard as usual. It&apos;s raining so perhaps that has something to do with it? It sounds like a good excuse. Barry bought me Indian food for lunch. Yummy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Still working on my 1959 market for one of my thesis game levels.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/000074eg/&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/000074eg/s320x240&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26877.html</comments>
  <category>lazy</category>
  <category>lunch</category>
  <category>3d</category>
  <category>thesis</category>
  <category>art</category>
  <category>barry</category>
  <lj:music>fnordcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">fnordcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>lazy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26399.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:08:48 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Monday</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26399.html</link>
  <description>Ah, Monday. I finished up last week&apos;s work for my thesis project. I am so danged busy; but almost done with my freelance work. Once that is done the time I am putting into that will go for to my project and paper.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The D&amp;D group I am in (as a player) is going well. Rainsong hit 5th level and picked up a new racial enmity (goblinoids!). I am getting tired of going down in combat however; I am just not hardy enough to be the 2nd fighter... I am an archer for crying out loud! :-D&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mila and I passed on going to the SGA this weekend. Getting a little too burned out on being at EVERYTHING. Life is just too busy at the moment and we need time for us.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26399.html</comments>
  <category>rainsong</category>
  <category>eberron</category>
  <category>dungeons &amp; dragons</category>
  <category>thesis</category>
  <category>mila</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <lj:music>Freethought Radio</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Freethought Radio</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26367.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:00:45 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Podcasting High!</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26367.html</link>
  <description>We have actually started getting email fan mail and letters of support for our podcast. It is really a great thing to have a project be appreciated like that. BTW our KVMR interview on Nat&apos;l Coming Out Day is up on our website: www.trans-ponder.com as episode 13.5&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Emails:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mila,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I just wanted to drop you a note and say I love your podcast.  I listen to it at work or wherever.  You are much more courageous than I am and I appreciate listening to your adventures in life.  Keep up the good work.  Oh, and Jayna too!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;Hi ladies,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;First off, I love the show, been listening since the very beginning. Sorry I decided to email you both, I wasn&apos;t sure if you had a group emailer for the site or something. Anyway, ever since Gender Talk ended it&apos;s long running career I haven&apos;t been able to find the right replacement until your show came along. It is far more personal than a lot of other shows but still have just enough politics to not make me bored. I can really relate to you and your experiences too, I&apos;ve also been living full time since the beginning of this year and have been taking hormones for about a year now. I&apos;m from Vancouver actually so I love when you guys talk about Canada...if you ever want to know anything special going on in our native land, feel free to ask. Jayna, it is so refreshing to see somebody else working successfully  in the entertainment industry. I myself have been an animator in the animation industry for 4 years now and also went to an Art Institute, small world, eh? Anyway...did I mention that I love the show? You girls keep doing what your doing!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;All the best&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;Dear Jayna and Mila,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I just found your podcast and I just love listening to the two of you &lt;br /&gt;(and your guests) talk about your experiences in transition. I just &lt;br /&gt;started transitioning MtF, and I find your experiences very helpful in &lt;br /&gt;dealing with various issues and emotions. It is a rich experience of&lt;br /&gt; ups &lt;br /&gt;and downs that while difficult, is so very worthwhile. But I&apos;m sure you&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;already know that!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I am coming out to my father and step-mother this weekend, and&lt;br /&gt; listening &lt;br /&gt;to episode 5 I realized that they will need to know what my new name&lt;br /&gt; is. &lt;br /&gt;I&apos;ve been using a feminized version of my birth name out of respect for&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;my parents, but listening to you I realized that my new life is not &lt;br /&gt;about them, it&apos;s about me and I need to choose a name that makes me &lt;br /&gt;happy. So I followed your lead Mila and looked up names of my ethnic &lt;br /&gt;origin. I have not settled on a name yet, but I have some nice ones to &lt;br /&gt;choose from.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So thank you for helping me realize something that had not occured to&lt;br /&gt; me &lt;br /&gt;yet and saving me from having to tell my parents twice that I have a&lt;br /&gt; new &lt;br /&gt;name.&lt;br /&gt;______________________________________________________________________________________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyhow, how cool is that?!</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26367.html</comments>
  <category>letters</category>
  <category>fans</category>
  <category>podcast</category>
  <lj:music>KVMR</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">KVMR</media:title>
  <lj:mood>happy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26105.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:54:44 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>KVMR</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26105.html</link>
  <description>Today is coming out day so Mila and myself and 3 local lesbian gals all made a trip to KVRM where we were interviewed and promoted &apos;Coming Out Day&apos; and the dinner tonight at Margheritas in Grass Valley. I think now that I have actually had to promote it I better show up. I wouldn&apos;t feel right about promoting it and not going myself.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/26105.html</comments>
  <category>coming out day</category>
  <category>interview</category>
  <category>kvrm</category>
  <lj:music>Dan Carlin&apos;s Common Sense</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Dan Carlin&apos;s Common Sense</media:title>
  <lj:mood>calm</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25706.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:41:01 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Avaldar Pt.2: Tychus Grunch</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25706.html</link>
  <description>Sir Tychus Grunch rode his enormous war horse Blackhide through the throng of villagers. Tychus had won the enormous mount in a tournament against Landon Lothander. Tychus had played dirty to win, but he had won. The crowd had booed and hissed when, after the combatants had dismounted, he had flung mud from the field into Landon helm slit. As Landon cleared it away he was greeted with Tychus’ heavy mace ringing upside his head. Tychus was more than happy to collect the defeated Landon’s horse and arms. Landon still cursed his name every opportunity he could, but Tychus was not one to care. Landon would have to get over it, this was his horse now.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The villagers parted out of respect and a healthy fear of getting trampled. As they separated they revealed the source of their slack-jawed attention… a smoldering corpse tied to a charred pole in the ground. Even Tychus had to admit the stench was a bit disturbing to the heavy breakfast he had. Ham, cheese, spiced bread, and a healthy flagon of good Tarsan wine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A priest and the sheriff both looked up at him. Both seemed eager for his attention. Likely they would lick his boots for a pat on the head. They both started in unison trying to explain what happened. “Shut up priest!” Tychus demanded, “Sheriff what happened here?!”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Sheriff gulped, “Murder m’lord. Murder, foul murder!” Tychus dismounted from his monster of a horse, landing in the mud with a heavy thud. He walked over to the Sheriff and cuffed him hard in the mouth. “I can see the obvious fool. Tell me the particulars and test not my patience this day.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Sheriff started, “These lot sir,” he made a sweeping motion to the peasants gathered about, “murdered this mage here,” he gestured to the charred corpse, “by burning him alive. Weird bit is… none remember doing it.” Tychus nodded, “Who was the mage then?”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“a mage by name of Findazzle,” the sheriff stated, “well known by most. From about Gremshir town.” Tychus looked concerned at this. One of the Defenders of Avaldar. The original lot. Not the current do-gooders and questing busy-bodies he took great delight in defeating at the tourneys. Findazzle was a friend, or at least ally, to the royal family as well. With Queen Thomasina Dawnglade in mourning he would not want the foul news reaching her without having punished the wicked ones responsible. He would have to be decisive without needlessly killing the village’s productivity. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Sheriff was looking at him, waiting for direction. He gave it. “Him, him, him, and him. And… to be fair let us select her as well. Have them arrested and have them hung for murder.” The Sheriff shouted for his men to begin to grab those that Sir Tychus had pointed to as the priest began to protest.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“My lord I protest, I…” began the priest. “You protest Father?” asked Tychus grimly. “I should be careful protesting my judgment were I an unarmed man in linens.” The priest put his hands wide with his palms showing. “I mean no disrespect my lord. I simply wish to point out that these folk were likely ensorcelled and the person or persons responsible may be at large. May strike again!” &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tychus held back the urge to strike the priest dead. Baron Horatio Grunch would not be pleased should he have to explain about another priest dying in this parish. Tychus eyed the priest shrewdly. “Very well Father you until two days at noon to find me the one or one’s responsible.” The priest seemed to relax visibly and smile warmly at Tychus, “Bless you my lord,” he proclaimed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tychus began to mount his war steed turning his back to the still beaming priest. No doubt pleased over his sway on the noble. He looked back over his shoulder as he turned his horse. “Oh and priest?” he asked.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Yes merciful Sir?” asked the priest attentively. Tychus looked at him grimly, “Fail to find whoever is responsible and you shall join them at the noose.” The fallen expression on Father Faeweather’s face was priceless. Sir Tychus chuckled a bit as he rode back toward the keep.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25706.html</comments>
  <category>avaldar</category>
  <category>writing</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <lj:music>trans-ponder podcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">trans-ponder podcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>anxious</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25439.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:24:17 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Sick at home</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25439.html</link>
  <description>I am home sick for the day. Yesterday I had no appetite and felt overall pretty bad. I think the stress of the previous night plus working on my thesis is getting the best of me. Rather than recovering however I seem to be finding things to do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Things stressing me out right now:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1. Thesis I am both writing my paper AND working on the actual project&lt;br /&gt;2. Taking &apos;Final Cut -- Technical Art Direction III&apos; and &apos;Master&apos;s Colloquia&apos;&lt;br /&gt;3. Freelance work. I am writing the 2nd year curriculum for a game design program in Canada&lt;br /&gt;4. My job. There is not enough to keep us busy at the moment. We need a new gig.&lt;br /&gt;5. Social anxiety. I have lost a lot of social confidence lately despite passing well.&lt;br /&gt;6. The other night with my girl, even though we have made up.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/25439.html</comments>
  <category>stress</category>
  <category>sick</category>
  <category>mfa</category>
  <category>thesis</category>
  <category>work</category>
  <lj:music>none</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">none</media:title>
  <lj:mood>sick</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24911.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:40:03 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Sunday Game</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24911.html</link>
  <description>Mila and I are still playing on Sunday&apos;s with our D&amp;D group and having a lot of fun. Role-playing with two gay guys is the best ever! When we arrived on Sunday they did a wonderful spread with cheeses, crackers, grapes, and wine. Wow, so good... sorry to stereotype but gay men make some of the best hosts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The game is proving fun and I am enjoying playing my Elven Ranger Windsong. She just hit 4th level and attracted her animal companion, a she-wolf which she named Lud. Mila&apos;s cleric, a noble and worshiper of the Sovereign Host seems to be succumbing to a dark side after her rather grisly encounter with a major villain. She survived by opening herself up to the Fury, a particularly dark goddess. I may have to put the girl down!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00006b09/&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00006b09/s320x240&quot; width=&quot;155&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24911.html</comments>
  <category>d&amp;d</category>
  <category>rainsong</category>
  <category>role-playing</category>
  <category>eberron</category>
  <category>mila</category>
  <lj:mood>sick</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24690.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sat, 06 Oct 2007 07:23:17 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>our first portrait together</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24690.html</link>
  <description>Well we finally sat down and did a picture together. I think it turned out well!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00005p0a/&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00005p0a/s320x240&quot; width=&quot;195&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24690.html</comments>
  <category>love</category>
  <category>picture</category>
  <category>jayna</category>
  <category>portrait</category>
  <category>mila</category>
  <lj:music>none</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">none</media:title>
  <lj:mood>happy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24528.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:15:23 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Artorius Tower</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24528.html</link>
  <description>Erbit led his brother Mooshel up into the top floor of Artorius Tower, his flickering torch casting eerie shadows and unholy orange light onto the walls around them. “Wot is it Erbit? Wot you want up here? You know Great Grampappy Cashel don’t want us up and about in this part of the Tower!”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Erbit thrust out his chest in a proud display of fearlessness, “Ah quit yer whinin’ and cowerin’ Mooshel! We ain’t gonna break nuffin. Grampappy an not even going to know what we looked at in here.” Mooshel seemed to ponder his older brother’s sage wisdom, before nodding with wide eyed mixture of fright and excitement of doing something forbidden.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Arriving at a huge heavy oak door, Erbit took off a worn leather strap from which hung an old black iron key. Sticking it into the greenish copper key hole Mooshel let out a gasp of amazement as previously unseen sigils and wards began to glow and fade all up and down the perimeter of the door. With a slow and eerie creak, the door opened all by itself. Even Erbit had to gulp down the fear rising up. If he backed out now Mooshel would think his big brother was just another village blow hard and not the roughest and toughest staff fighter since the days of Grampappy Cashel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The rooms was meticulously clean, a preserved museum of great artifacts from the days of King Menderin and the Defenders of Avaldar. Great heroes donated the artifacts from their days of adventure to this place, preserved for their fallen companion Artorius. A fabled Causian Legionnaire’s Blade hung over a mantle, a clockwork Mecha Crossbow, the surrendered sword of Baron Elmer Grunch, the King of Our Tomorrow’s ceremonial scepter, and even Artorius’ own suit of leather armor adorned a wooden statue carved to look like Artorius. “Ooooh,” said Mooshel with wonder, “Is that what Artorius really looked like?!”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Erbit looked at it appraisingly, “I dunno,” he said puzzled, “Grampappy Cashel carved it and he knew him. But I don’t know that Sir Artorius was Half Orc.” He pointed to the upturned flat nose on the otherwise human looking statue. “So, um, is this it?” asked Mooshel. He was impressed by the place but still didn’t see the point of violating the sanctity of the top floor (and risk getting in trouble to boot!).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Erbit looked at him, assumed a heroic pose, and pronounced, “Not at all! I am going to be a great hero! Even Grampappy will look at my deeds with awe! I shall take a weapon from here worthy of me and my adventures.”  Everyone knew that as old as Grampappy was he was most in awe that he just managed to live through another winter.&lt;br /&gt;Erbit pointed to an old staff of dark wood, slightly twisted and marked with little red sigils. It was strapped to the wall with several leather buckled straps and wrapped up in an old chain made of magical draining Myrkidium. Mooshel let out a crooning sound, he was now sure that his brother WAS going to be Avaldar’s next greatest hero. He was positively beaming as Erbit undid the Myrkidium chain.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Both boys let out a sound of surprised delight as the staff begin to quiver under the restraints. “It’s like it wants to come to it’s new wielder!” Erbit said with encouraged excitement. He undid one buckle and the staff became even more excited. It was outright vibrating, rattling against the stone wall. He undid the last strap, assured that the weapon would leap into his hand. Sure enough the staff hurled forward, although not as predicted, striking him full on in the face. The world went instantly black for Erbit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Erbit woke to his face being repeatedly slapped. “Ow,” he muttered, “stop that!” he opened his eyes and nearly choked as he looked into the lantern lit face of a very angry and disappointed Grampappy Cashel. Mooshel stood to the side with a, ‘It’s all Erbit’s fault’ look on his face. “What you do you blasted idjit!?” he frothed through his toothless mouth. Erbit looked puzzled until he saw the empty straps and noticed the smashed window. “I..... I…,” he stammered pointlessly. He knew he was in big trouble. Grampappy’s expression said they all were.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00003q25/&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/jayhawke/pic/00003q25/s320x240&quot; width=&quot;292&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24528.html</comments>
  <category>avaldar</category>
  <category>gurps</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <lj:music>Trans-Ponder podcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Trans-Ponder podcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>chipper</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24288.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:19:49 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>PFLAG Rules</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24288.html</link>
  <description>The more I get involved with, the more I love the organization PFLAG. PFLAG has made Mila and I feel very much welcomed in their organization and we are finding ourselves getting more and more involved.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On Monday we are going to participate in a Q&amp;A with our medical doctor for PFLAG in Placer county. On Thursday we are the new hosts of a local PFLAG radio program at a small talk radio station here in Nevada County. Also the fact that PFLAG has made such a stand against a non-inclusive ENDA (Employment Non Discrimination Act) says they are alright with me any day!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That being said I do not ever see myself giving a dime to HRC. They have likely burned their last bit of trust with the transgender community by squandering the opportunity to do what they promised to do... oppose a non-inclusive ENDA.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oooooh also episode 12 of our podcast is up at www.trans-ponder.com. In this episode we talk about Mila&apos;s Medical Past and the ENDA issues that affect the GLBT community.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/24288.html</comments>
  <category>pflag</category>
  <category>enda</category>
  <category>hrc</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>Dungeons and Dragons Podcast</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Dungeons and Dragons Podcast</media:title>
  <lj:mood>chipper</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23868.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:06:40 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Well....</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23868.html</link>
  <description>This is proving to be a difficult quarter. They adjusted my quarter around so that now I am taking both animation technical direction III and Masters Colloquia at the same time. That is a rough combination as I am not only producing my thesis project but writing my thesis paper at the same time. Too big tasks at once. The up side is that after essentially a grueling next 11 weeks, my final quarter will be much easier... I will only do my thesis Defense then.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It has been a long two and a half years but now I just have to push through this level of burnout and outright academic exhaustion and get this done with.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hopefully I can get my workplace to appreciate the value (review and raise this month) of me having an MFA and reward me appropriately.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23868.html</comments>
  <category>computer animation</category>
  <category>mfa</category>
  <lj:music>podcast on ENDA</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">podcast on ENDA</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23784.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 03 Oct 2007 19:19:45 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>ENDA fiasco</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23784.html</link>
  <description>The whole ENDA fisco has really been bothering me. So much that there have been mornings where I have woken up way to early, started thinking about it, and then couldn&apos;t get to sleep. Hitting the gym and wearing myself out is now my new strategy for dealing with this energy draining sleeplessness... Perhaps if I am outright physically exhausted I will sleep no matter what the troubles.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23784.html</comments>
  <category>enda</category>
  <lj:mood>tired</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23485.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 02 Oct 2007 16:06:14 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>To Orchi or Not to Orchi</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23485.html</link>
  <description>With Mila&apos;s current inter-sex issues and the fact that we may have to delay surgery we are considering Orchiectomy as something we can do in the meantime. Considering that I take such little spiro I am not sure how much benefit it would be or not. However; it seems that most who have are really pleased with the further feminization and at this point I am at the point of no return... so sure; why not eh?!</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23485.html</comments>
  <category>orchiectomy</category>
  <category>intersex</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>podcast on the year 1066</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">podcast on the year 1066</media:title>
  <lj:mood>calm</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23164.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 27 Sep 2007 18:38:25 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>End of September Update</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23164.html</link>
  <description>Well; episode 11 is up at www.trans-ponder.com; this time with FTM friend of mine from the school I worked at. Dani is a film maker and all around sweetheart of a guy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On personal issues; I am awaiting a letter from my doctor to see about getting my birth certificate changed before surgery. Also looking into an orchidectomy (both of us) as we await surgery.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I heard the Senate passed the hate crimes amendment...as usual Republicans are the dissenting voice. The hate crimes amendment would allow funds to persecute hate crimes that largely get little investigation due to the fact that those who are victimized are disenfranchised by society. It is no secret in the world that the more high profile you are the more likely there will be a fuss if you get killed. A prominent business person is going to get a larger investigation than a transgender person living off of social security. It is based upon the perception of our worth to society.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/23164.html</comments>
  <category>orchiectomy</category>
  <category>hate crimes</category>
  <category>podcast</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>podcasts</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">podcasts</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22939.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 24 Sep 2007 18:03:06 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>old lies, old surgeries</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22939.html</link>
  <description>So my partner&apos;s parents finally gave a bit more information about her mysterious surgeries as a child. I am so angry at her parents lying about things and keeping information from her for so long. She was told at different times that it was a hernia operation, then it was undescended testes, and now the fact that she had to have actual testes constructed and apparently more. Princeton only keeps medical records for 23 years so now she cannot get the actual records and pediatricians only have to keep records for 10 years. Scar tissue is likely to complicate her future GRS, especially as badly as the first surgeon botched the surgeries ( a second surgeon had to fix his work). I think this may put Thailand out of the running as far as surgeons which means greater cost for us in the U.S. Perhaps if she had records as to intersexed condition she could have gotten the insurance to pay for it; maybe that is still an option if she can get a doctor to diagnose that... though that may be difficult based on &apos;old surgeries&apos; and genetic testing may or may not help.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22939.html</comments>
  <category>intersex</category>
  <category>ambiguous genitalia</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>Pandora</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Pandora</media:title>
  <lj:mood>angry</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22578.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 21 Sep 2007 21:48:21 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>episode 10</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22578.html</link>
  <description>Episode 10 is up at www.trans-ponder.com&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is my last week of the school quarter. I will have finished the MFA in March... so I am debating staying here, going to Phoenix, or going elsewhere (Washington? San Francisco?). Portland might be off the list as my ex refuses to ever go there and I need her cooperation what with the kids and all.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22578.html</comments>
  <category>podcast</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>none</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">none</media:title>
  <lj:mood>bored</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22507.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 20 Sep 2007 20:42:04 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Avaldar 3</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22507.html</link>
  <description>Good King Menderin has passed away (at the ripe old age of 91) and his eldest grandson has taken up the throne. In the backwater Barony of Darkwater Horatio Grunch, all simple folk are happy and content that crown has passed to the new King without contention or turmoil. The question is will the new King keep his crown as famine begins to descend upon the land? As vile creatures begin the haunt the dying fields? As ambitious nations see a weakening Titan to be taken down a peg or two? As a strange cult begins to terrorize the cities?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Once again dark conspiracies are afoot, ancient evils threaten the good lands, magic corrupts the weak minded, and religious forces meddle in the affairs of all!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Make way for the next great epic of Avaldar as new heroes from a new generation take up arms in defense of goodness, honor, and all that is right!</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22507.html</comments>
  <category>avaldar</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <lj:mood>creative</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22103.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:47:55 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>September Update</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22103.html</link>
  <description>Well it has been a long while since I updated.... 6 weeks!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So we just finished our 10th episode of trans-ponder at www.trans-ponder.com with Rebecca Ney. She is from Tranny Wreck and is post-op, ex-Mormon, and HIV+ so you know she is a great interview!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I proposed to Mila; so we are engaged. Next one of us will legally change gender after SRS then we will get married, then the other will do the paperwork. Loop holes are fun!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Over the labor day break we drove up to Portland and hung out with some friends there including Rebecca Ney (who held a BBQ for us) and friends from work. We stocked up at Powell&apos;s City of Books, taking advantage of no sales tax, getting some good books like transgender rights and the transgender studies reader.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We also joined a D&amp;D group. Looks like a very good fit for us! Two of the guys in the group are a gay couple (and fabulous Role-players! no joke!) so just seems a comfortable fit. Things are good, though I am realizing I am in dire need to re-do my photo image. It is so dated!</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/22103.html</comments>
  <category>hiv</category>
  <category>roleplaying</category>
  <category>podcast</category>
  <category>transgender</category>
  <lj:music>Jonathon Coultan</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Jonathon Coultan</media:title>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21825.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:41:31 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Podcast</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21825.html</link>
  <description>Things are really hectic but the podcast is up and running. We just completed our second episode. Mila, being the chatty one of us, does really well in carrying the show. We are having lots of fun doing it!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Check it out at www.trans-ponder.com&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Work has been busy but fun. Character concepts, modeling, and texturing. Hurray! So glad to be doing something other than UI design.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21825.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>busy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21506.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 23 Jul 2007 22:54:03 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Big Ol&apos; July Update</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21506.html</link>
  <description>Thing have been mostly good this month but a lot has happened (not all good).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;House Update:&lt;br /&gt;All is being settled at the house and I will have my first mortgage payment due at the beginning of the month. Having a house is a whole new level of financial responsibility so far. I have spent a fortune in lawn care materials, paint, some furniture, wiring, lighting, etc. Hopefully this is worth it and I can, when I do move (to Phoenix or San Francisco or wherever), it will have all been a good investment (and pay for surgery!).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Partner and Ex-Partner Update:&lt;br /&gt;My partner has departed for Georgia where she is getting to see her parents. Hopefully it all goes well and I am looking forward to the next update. I think she is still adapting to the kids being around and is not used to being in that &quot;parental&quot; role. My ex is living with us and is frantically looking for work. She will likely have to move closer to wherever she finds work, though I am hoping, she will at least help me a bit paying for the moving expenses that I am still making payments on via my credit cards.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Work Update:&lt;br /&gt;I have been demoted or reclassified or whatever you want to call it at work. I am no longer lead artist and am back to a senior 3d artist position. I was told this is not a reflection upon me but I am upset by it. The person taking lead artist knows less about the software, has more limited skill set. I will stop there in my venting since I have to wonder if it is a matter of me being transgender and it would be awkward for whatever publisher we are working with, a matter of me having my qualifications reconsidered since I am now female, or they are hoping I leave. It may all be paranoia on my part, but considering the experiences of most transwomen i know, a justified paranoia.&lt;br /&gt;We are splitting into two companies. The nice thing is that I am being given some nice stock package in the new company. The nice thing is, I risk nothing if the venture fails and if it doesn&apos;t I have gained something for nothing. It is a break even or win situation which in itself is win-win.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Activism Update:&lt;br /&gt;Mila and I are starting our own podcast. www.trans-ponder.com is under construction and we have already recorded our first episode of the podcast. All that remains is to finish the website and put the editing recording up on the site for download. Eventually we can get an RSS feed and get listed on itunes and get listed on transfm.org&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Updates completed!</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21506.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>creative</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21492.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:45:04 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Settling In</title>
  <link>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21492.html</link>
  <description>We are getting all settled in at the new house as well as getting used to the new living situation what with my ex and the kids staying with us. A few rocky days at first with the ex but she is getting used to things now. The trip back was interesting. We got a late start and then got a blow out about 80 miles out of Phoenix and so we ended up getting home at 2am on Sunday. I took Monday off and went back to work on Tuesday.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Things are going really well now and we all love the house... it is nice and big. A programmer at my work gave us a huge 56&quot; projection HD tv and it just looks great in the living room. My son is having a blast playing the xbox360 there and Mila is having a blast killing hordes of zombies. We got some drapes with a Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift card my friend Ro got me as a b-day present and then we went to Home Depot to spend the gift card my parents got me as a house warming gift (I think we got a cordless drill and some tools for putting the bunk bed back together for the kids).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Work was interesting with the announcement that we are splitting into two different companies. I am being rewarded with stock in the new company which is just fantastic. I risk nothing with that and it could be a nice pay off. I figure my windfall for my devotion to geekdom and hard work is going to pay off eventually.</description>
  <comments>http://jayhawke.livejournal.com/21492.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>cheerful</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
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